Monday, December 6, 2010

Best Songs Ever Part 2: This time it's personal...

Jawbreaker-Chesterfield King- I almost don't want to comment on this song. This was the song that made a Jawbreaker fan until they bury me. The whole song, and the entire story it tells probably happened to me about six quadrillion times. Still does. If you don't know (obviously you're an asshole), the song is about what happens when you don't make a move. You know what the fuck I'm talking about. It's about that shit your mind does when you leave a room and you know you should've done more. My favorite part of the song to be totally honest though, is when the character in the song goes to the convenience store and hangs out in the parking lot. In perfect detail you can totally visualize the toothless woman that stops and asks for a cigarette. You can almost see that our protagonist is going "fuck this is the last thing I need". I love that. Jawbreaker is notorious for that shit. The little details you think about when the big shit happens. The stuff you notice. That's reality. Jawbreaker sang songs about stuff they knew. Nothing more authentic than that.

NOFX- Liza and Louise- Now for something totally different. And really immature and crass. The song is about a chick who steals her boyfriend's car and then goes to the city. Where she meets Louise. And the song turns into Penthouse Letters. And it's really funny. That's it. I love singing it in the car. The end.

Ozma- Natalie Portman- Hahaha. This is a bit of an obscure one I think. The other stuff maybe you heard of. This one probably not. If you know the lyrics to this song then you get the little inside joke I just typed. The song is titled "Natalie Portman" who many people know is the ONLY celebrity I would marry. But that's not why I love the song. No. It's about ANY girl. It's about looking at some girl from far away and going "this girl wouldn't touch me to smack me". And just when you think THAT'S all the song is about, he goes "If I'm a proper Jewish boy...would her family love me?". Suddenly the song IS about Natalie Portman. I can totally relate to that. A lot of people who know of this band call them the poor man's Weezer. I can see that. They right dorky powerpop songs about girls. If that's a poor man's Weezer then everyone of these new "indie rock but really we are corporate rock wannabe's that want to be featured in the new Michael Cera movie" bands is a poor man's Weezer.

Shai Hulud- A Profound Hatred of Man- Yeah. Shit just got real. I will hurt you if you're within three feet of me while this song is playing. Just sayin'. I won't mean to do it. But I go a little nuts whenever I hear it. There's not much to say here other than if you want REAL metallic hardcore with true heart and substance, this should be your favorite band too.

Jawbreaker- Kiss the Bottle- Yeah two Jawbreaker entries. Deal with it. Who hasn't been in this situation? I should've, but I got too drunk. Yeah. I don't think I even need to say anything else. But I will. Blake Schwartzbach again describes every single detail. It's like a blueprint for personal failure that despite my best efforts I seem to follow to a tee. Shit happens I guess. Worship this song.