Sunday, February 21, 2010

The triumphant return to the show report

So last night myself and a few friends schlepped out to Sayreville, New Jersey to see Saves the Day (me) and New Found Glory (them but me a tiny bit too I won't lie). What follows is an in depth, hard hitting, crack news report on what transpired. I haven't done this for a while, and I haven't graced you all with a new post in a while either. What better way to waste your time. Here it is, the show rundown:

1. Best shirt: Mine (Dinosaur jr) because everyone else was in plaid or flannel or some derivative of these designs and fabrics.

2. Girls? A fucking ton.

3. Girls over 15? Probably. But I couldn't really tell.

4. Single girls? No. It was almost as annoying as Valentines Day. Well there might have been a few single girls.

5. Did you talk to any you pathetic human being? Yes, one. It was a conversation that lasted about 12 seconds. It went something like this, and I'm paraphrasing: Girl, slightly cute but very drunk: "Hi you seem like a cool guy". Me, very confused: "I do?" . Girl then walks into a sea of bodies pushing each other in various ways, never to be heard from again.

6. Nice surprise: Fireworks playing a Kid Dynamite song.

7. Worst band I have ever seen live: Hellogoodbye. It was like my ears were being raped by a gorilla on steroids.

8. What the fuck moment: Stupid fucking kid in a Terror shirt practicing his tiger style kung fu while Saves the Day was playing...Freakish. Wrong show dbag.

9. Shut up: Chad from New Found Glory

10. Saves the Day: played the best fucking set of music I have ever heard them play, EVER. I won't try to list the set, but I will say that my voice is completely fucked. They played shit from Can't Slow Down. They played shit from Through Being Cool. They even played the acoustic ep. It was like the shitty albums never happened. In fact the whole show was like taking a time machine back to 1998, and then 2000. I am now kinda pumped to hear the new album.

11. I still hate: Chad from New Found Glory

12. New Found Glory: played the self titled record in its entirety. This is not a bad thing, but I will continue to hate them and wish them ill for as long as I live. Despite liking some of their songs. My reasons for this go back many years, and I will not get into it now.

Also (number 12 part 2): New Found Glory always made me think they were a Revelation records youth crew band trapped in a whiny pop punk band's body. Like if the Gorilla Biscuits were collectively castrated or something. However, it's probably more like everyone in the band really likes hardcore, but they really, really, really like money.

13. Venues: need to not let so many fucking people into shows. We were all nearly trampled to death by herds of plaid clad Luke Skywalker haircut kids.

14. Did I mention: How awesome Saves the Day were?

15. Well done: the guy who didn't kill the stupid Terror kid after being punched in the face.

16. Why the fuck: do kids mosh for pop punk bands? Like really. It was like instead of New Found Glory playing the self titled it was like fucking Madball was playing "Demonstrating My Style".

17. I'm sorry: I don't own skinny jeans.

18. Why can't: Saves the Day play "Through Being Cool" as a whole set? I mean how fucking awesome would that be?

19. Little Hayley-noun;adj.- when a girl dresses herself up to look like the little hussy from the band Paramore. They are often found at outdoor "punk" festivals, shows, high schools, and MTV. They usually are about 15 years of age and very, very stupid. Approach with caution.

20. Little Hayley count: 234. I didn't actually count but I'm sure I'm not far off. These little tramps come out in droves for this sort of thing. Even though none of them were alive when half the songs played by either headlining band were written. Well maybe they were alive, but they were like six years old tops.

In conclusion: Saves the Day played an amazing set, New Found Glory was tolerable because they played older songs, I still hate Chad Gilbert, and kids these days love their flannel and moshing inappropriately. $20 bucks well spent.

Monday, February 1, 2010

A social comment

There I was. Minding my own business in the teacher lounge, quietly re-reading Howard Zinn's masterwork, "A People's History of the United States". Suddenly, my peaceful attempt to re-educate myself was interrupted by a gaggle of middle-aged ladies fully equipped with their lunches. It was clear they were friends, and that they meet here every day. I thought nothing of this, and continued reading. This would be a silly mistake on my part. They sat down, and immediately began crowing and babbling at a medium to high volume about the Grammy awards last night. I didn't even know that shit was on. Even if I did know, I would have avoided it like I avoid eating at Taco Bell. Yet they seemed to all be emotionally invested in the award show, as they commented endlessly about those "artists" that appeared. They said things like, "I love Taylor Swift" and "That Lady Gaga is a sicko (other colorful adjectives were also used)", Michael Jackson this, and some person who wore virtually nothing ( I assume female). I tried not to listen to this nonsense, but due to their volume it was impossible. They kept going. About how these people are supposed to be "role models" and whatever else. There was no point trying to read anymore. God forbid I get five minutes to feed my brain without someone destroying my peace.

Like I said, I did not know the Grammys were on. Nor do I care. I wouldn't know Lady Gaga if I hit her with my car and the only reason I know who Taylor Swift is is because shes on magazine covers at Barnes and Noble. I have never heard a Lady Gaga song in my life (that I'm aware of) and as for Taylor Swift the only reason I've heard her shit is because it was on in the background somewhere and someone pointed it out to me. I've said it before, and I will say it again. I am proudly and blissfully unaware of current pop culture. I just do not care to know. The music I listen to is far better than anything the Grammys had to offer. This isn't my opinion. This is cold hard fact. I challenge anyone to put any of that shit from the awards last night versus something on my itunes and tell me there's is better. I AM a music snob, and I make no apologies for that. As for the role models comment. Are you fucking kidding me? Apparently, as I am remembering this part of the conversation as I type, this was referring to how a bunch of rappers were virtually "bleeped" every other rhyme. The fact that anyone even wants musicians (or in this case rappers) to be role models is a fucking joke to me. Music, since the Big Band era, is designed to piss off the older generations and tear down social norms. Unless these ladies listened to The Carpenters in the 70's, they liked music that did the same thing. Rap music has been doing that for 30 years (even though it too suffers from over saturation and pop music capitalism) I may not like what I hear sometimes, but I won't deny its right to exist. Unless, like everything on the Grammys, it's vapid pop music with absolutely nothing to say and absolutely nothing to contribute to the world. Lady Gaga, I don't know who she or it is, but I guarantee she brings nothing to the table musically. That much is certain. Also, it is very telling that the ladies in that room "love" Taylor Swift. Makes perfect sense to me. Taylor Swift from what I gather writes empty love songs that are pleasing to people who don't really like or appreciate music. Or people who have small children. It's on the radio, it's catchy, so no one cares that it has as much substance as a Styrofoam cub.

In essence, this is exactly why the record companies are failing. Not the file sharing services or blogs, but bad (read terrible) music. No one wants to PAY for that crap. That's why they download it for free. Yes, the indie rock community suffers from the freebie issue as well, but more people are apt to go see those bands live, or buy a shirt. I have never seen a kid at the high school wear a Lady Gaga shirt. I think there's gonna be a big change in music in the next few years. Even Jay-Z thinks so. He said (and I'm paraphrasing) that indie rock is gonna be the next big thing. He's apparently a fan. He's kind of right. Thousands of kids turn out for the bigger shows. I want to see The National in June. I guarantee a big crowd of kids. Even in punk rock, where the audience is a little younger and angrier, a shit ton of kids show up. This is where the money is made in music these days. Not in record sales. And thank satan for that. At least one gigantic corporate empire will be taken down pretty soon. One day, the Grammys won't exist. On that day, we can all look upon our work and see that it is good.