A Shai Hulud show report

 It was Thursday. It was nice outside but the reports threatened that rain was imminent. In the midst of quite a tumultuous week, I decided to schlep out to Gooooooooooshen (or Middletown? I don't think there's a difference really) to see the mighty Shai Hulud destroy everything in their path like so many rubbery giant Japanese city destroying monsters. What follows is some in depth reporting of what transpired.

Location: Sounds Asylum, a tiny venue with no stage. The place was about as big as my living room. Awesome place for a show like this.

Best Shirt award: This has to go to the kid with the Antischism patch on his hoody. Granted, this technically isn't a shirt as it was homemade, the award goes to the kid based on the fact that he wasn't wearing a Terror shirt.

Worst shirt award: Any kid who was wearing a Bleeding Through shirt. Really now? Bleeding Through? That band had one decent album like 5 years ago that wasn't even good enough to warrant them being signed. And what was funny is that these kids wore the shit like it was a badge of honor. Bleeding Through is bad metalcore for kids with IQ's lower than George Bush's left testicle.

Brutal chick award: The blonde, petite girl covered in tattoos who clobbered me in the back of the head during Hulud's set. When I first saw her she seemed calm enough, albeit having a "don't fuck with me" expression on her face at all times. After the painful blow to the cranium, I stayed the fuck out of her way.

Pit Commander award: The really big fat kid with the really huge holes in his ears who was pretty much hell-bent on destroying all that stood in his way. This would include the merch tables which were parked precariously close to the large beast's stomping grounds at the front of the venue.

Twilight Zone moment: When I first get to the show, I step out of my car and some kid comes up to talk to me because I am wearing a Ceremony hoody. Listen, I know how cool Ceremony is. I get it, so do you. However, just because I am wearing said item does not mean I want you to talk to me. In fact, just the opposite. I do not automatically want to talk to every asshole kid who thinks Ceremony is a cool band. Especially when the entire conversation will consist of you using every synonym for "awesome" you can think of and apply it to the subject under review. Please, stay the fuck away from me.

Violation of personal space award: The fat guy who stood in front of me so I couldn't move or breathe. It turns out he would later play in the Bayonet later on that night.

Surprisingly awesome band: Forgotten Sons. Local kids make good music.

Shitty band: Whoever the fuck played after Forgotten Sons. Way to copy and paste Coliseum riffs and pass it off like you wrote it. Also, your singer is a giant dbag.

Chug band award: The band called In Alcatraz 1962. First of all, what kind of stupid fucking band name is that? Two, how many breakdowns can you pop into a song? It doesn't get boring after a while?

Surprisingly awesome band, part 2: The Casting Out. Pop punk (sort of) that sounded like a happier Boy Sets Fire. Also, a bunch of old dudes.

Other band: Bayonet. They are like one of those ex-this, former member of that band. Basically a bunch of dudes from other failed hardcore bands that play more hardcore in a style they think the kids might actually like this time. Well, they were clearly going for that Bridge Nine sound and with their name drop factor they'll probably sign to them if they aren't signed already. I for one was not impressed.


Shai Hulud: As always, despite 900 lineup changes, a great time. My voice is still fucked two days later from screaming. And there is no better way to see them then in a small place with no stage. Also, kudos to the kids at the show for being there to fuckin pile on for Hulud. It makes me think that some kids actually know what's going on a little. Just a little though.

Well that about wraps it up. Hope you enjoyed.