Saturday, July 10, 2010

The month in Rag

Well kids I have decided to grace the three or four people who read this with a brand spanking new post. This has been a busy month for all things unimportant and nonsensical. I think we'll break it down into a list or something. Here we go.
The World Cup- I love soccer. Fuck you if you don't. In fact, the only real reason people in this country hate soccer with the same passion as say, England, loves it is because most Americans can't fucking play soccer. There it is. I have heard more "soccer is gay" jokes this month than there are actual gay people. Basically, if we collectively suck at something as a nation, we instantly disregard it and call it names. Also, not to get off topic but, inanimate objects, sports, or situations are not "gay". Adjust your stupidity accordingly. Anyway, the United States national team for two minutes actually almost changed all of this. There was, for a brief little moment, hope that the US team could actually make a showing at the Cup. Nah. They tied and stumbled their way into the knockout stage and then shit the bed. I saw it coming. Same with England. Look for another post about this shit later.
Why the fuck did they remake Karate Kid?- I don't know. Also, why did they put Will "Oh Helllllllll no!" Smith's kid as the lead? And furthermore, I know this is just semantics to some people but what the little bastard spawn was doing was not karate but Chinese boxing or kung fu. How do I know? BECAUSE JACKIE FUCKING CHAN IS TEACHING HIM THIS IN THE TRAILER. What the fuck stop remaking my childhood.
New Ceremony album "Rohnert Park"- Is fucking awesome. It's like hearing "Damaged" for the first time.
New Gaslight album "American Slang"- You know it's good...but it's not great. Doesn't really thrill me not gonna lie.
I don't care about the Deftones. I know, blasphemy. But I don't. In fact a lot of people's favorite bands kinda suck out loud. Just sayin.
Also, American Recordings put out more Johnny Cash songs called "Ain't no Grave". It's gut wrenchingly awesome.
A word about the whole Lebron James thing- I will be totally honest, I hate the NBA. There is nothing worse than a bunch of disgustingly rich athletes in my opinion. Especially lazy rich athletes that prance around for an hour endlessly on a gym floor. Boring. Well AIDS is worse. African politics too I guess. But this is a blog about nonsense. I have decided to strike everything serious from any future writings here. SO for right now, the NBA is the worst thing ever. Lebron James is a perfect example of what's wrong in sports. The guy was drafted in after high school. Fucking high school. He didn't go to college, never actually had to work to get anywhere, and now he is on the most stacked team in all sports. I don't care that he didn't sign with the Knicks. I wouldn't watch anyway. The fact that the American media made such a huge deal about where he was going was the worst part about the whole thing. Really? Where this asshole goes is that important where the entire TV universe shuts down to hear this guy's prepared statements? How grateful he is to god and family and the billions of trillions of dollars he will make in endorsements and salary over the next 5 years? FUCK HIM.
IPhones are stupid. Apple has single-handedly turned us all into a bunch of Ritalin kids where brand new shiny things reign supreme. How bout we look up from our tiny little phone screens for two minutes and do something? Smart phones my ass.
Remember when kid's movies were good? These kids have nothing. Seriously we had The Sandlot, Little Giants, The Mighty Ducks. I can go on forever. What do kids have now? Vin Diesel? The Rock?  Plus, and this a big plus, our cartoons were drawn by hand. That takes talent. Hollywood churns out this pixar bullshit almost daily. Kids have it rough.
I think I dislike most ed majors. Myself and a handful of others not included. Well no I kinda suck too.
Also I have been watching NetFlix movies all day. Later.

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