Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The year end thing

Every website and blog on this planet is now prepping a year end or decade end list. That's a silly and stupid waste of time. Of course I want to do it too. I think I'll do just a year end list though. To do a decade list is kind of an idiotic thing for me to attempt. My tastes in everything changed dramatically in ten years so it would be kind of stupid to do a "best of the decade" or whatever. Plus. we all know the last ten years blew donkey balls anyway. It's much easier to do a best of the year thing. So enjoy my shitty little post.

BEST IN MUSIC: this in no way implies I have heard everything that came out this year. Not even close. This is just my personal favorite stuff.

Albums: The TOP 3
1. Dinosaur Jr- Farm: The best album by anyone this year. Period. If you don't agree I don't care. Fuck off and get your own blog.

2. NOFX-Coaster: This is the best thing this band has done since "Punk in Drublic". I was kind of amazed actually.

3. Propagandhi- Supporting Caste: They did it again. If every album they write doesn't make you feel guilty or stupid something is definitely wrong with you. The only band that inspires me to read more. Still.


1. Polar Bear Club- Chasing Hamburg: Great album. I don't have much else to say on the matter

2. Paint it Black- Amnesia EP: This is how hardcore should be played.

3. Baroness- The Blue Record: The gnarly whatever the fuck metal they play is still there with more noodly guitars and some Thin Lizzy thrown in for shits and giggles. I'll allow it. Also, they're better than Mastodon.

Other albums I liked in no order:

The Appleseed Cast-Sagarmantha(I think that's how it was spelled)
The Pains of Being Pure at Heart- I forgot the album name. Yes that's a real band.
Dead Swans- Sleepwalkers
Soul Control- Cycles
Russian Circles- Geneva
Pelican- What We All Come to Need

Worst albums:

The new Set Your Goals. What a giant piece of shit. Everything that's wrong with the current punk rock scene.

Poison the Well-The Tropic Rot: A huge waste of time and a major disappointment. This is the sound of a band that doesn't know what the fuck it wants to do.

I don't give a shit about: The new Converge album. I don't care what it sounds like. Nor do I care about the new Weezer. I'm sure it's shitty.

Best live band: Ceremony. My head just un-caved itself 6 months later.

Also cool to see live: The Get-Up Kids, Face to Face, These Arms Are Snakes, Baroness, Alkaline Trio, Bad Religion

NOFX: Still sucks live

Saves the Day: continues to disappoint me

Best Album cover: The Crystal Castle's "Alice Practice" EP. Madonna with a black eye? Priceless. Their music is fucking dumb though.

Everyone needs to stop: liking Kings of Leon

Everyone needs to remember: Michael Jackson touched children inappropriately

Dropkick Murphys: needs to break up. It's music for frat boys who want to seem edgy.

I still hate: Phish

I'm Glad: I don't know who Lady Gaga is.

Old Bands I got really into:
The Jesus Lizard

I wish: Alternative Press would go away, kids stopped dressing like highliters, all skinny jeans lit on fire, a record store would open near my house that isn't Best Buy, Wu-Tang would play my basement, all shows weren't in fucking Brooklyn or Albany, and Jawbreaker would reunite.

Other things I want: A new Pig Destroyer album, a new Ted Leo album, to finally see Dinosaur jr, a Saves the Day album that doesn't suck, an album from Blake Schwartzbach's (Jawbreaker) new band, Dave Matthews Band to swallow acid collectively,


Best Movie: Inglorious Basterds. Yeah it's a controversial choice. However, I don't care what you think. The Hangover was close though.

Worst Movie: Anything done by Michael Bay. I didn't even see Transformers 2 to know it sucks. Same with (C)GI Joe. In fact, stop ruining my childhood cartoon nostalgia goddammit. Also, Funny People sucked as well.

UPDATE: When I previously posted this blog I made a terrible mistake. I neglected to mention the one movie I hated more than any other. I hated it more than dropping my car keys so they slide under the car and bounce in the middle so they can't be reached. I am talking about the abomination that was Watchmen. Wait, you're thinking, Watchmen was bad? Yes. Zack Snyder is as bad as Rob Zombie if not worse. He is the quintessential frat boy who read a comic book once and plays a lot of Halo. Let us briefly go through his career, shall we? Dawn of the Dead? Zombies don't fucking run shithead. 300? The first comic book he ruined. It managed to be the only movie ever to be both homoerotic and homophobic all at the same time. That brings me to Watchmen. It is, like all Alan Moore works, unfilmable. You can't possibly hope to convey on screen what that comic was all about. Anyone who has actually read it knows exactly what I mean. The only saving grace was the guy who played Rorschach. He nailed it. Zack Snyder went for his "Dark Knight" and struck the fuck out. Avoid. Oh wait, most of you did. Good call.

Since I phased out my horror blog: Martyrs was amazing. Everything else kinda sucked. In fact all the great horror movies I saw this year were French. Weird.

Paranormal Activity: surprised the shit out of me. In a good way.

Rob Zombie: is a fucking hack. Stop making movies.

Zombieland: was probably great but I don't remember it due to inebriation.

Best DVD acquisition: The Beyond

Megan Fox: is hot but stupid.

Natalie Portman: should marry me.

I still don't care about: celebrity deaths.

I got really into: Old school Kung Fu movies. Like with the bad dubbing and everything.

I was glad to see: The ninja movie make a comeback. Even though I didn't see it.

I am: The Bear Jew

Best older movie viewed this year:
John Woo's The Killer. Holy shit.

Hollywood would do better without: James Cameron and his CGI nonsense bullshit. Avatar? It looks like someone just filmed a kid playing Halo. I'm just waiting for the Celine Dion song. Also, the woman who wrote Juno and Jennifer's Body should stop all future projects immediately. And furthermore, no more fucking shitty remakes. And what the fuck happened to real action movies? Oh, and since when does Sherlock Holmes know karate?

Oh yeah fuck Twilight too.

Happy New Year. Assholes.

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